Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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