I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
