I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
