Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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