How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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