We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
40s are totally the cure
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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