even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
