Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
