You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
