he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
