He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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