Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
