You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
