Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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