She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
