just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Boobs are out for the taking
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
