I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
