so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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