Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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