So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
