i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
