I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
