walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
