I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
