Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
