Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
