That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
