Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
