I've blown a few things in my day
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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