Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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