I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
where are you?
Hypothermia
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
