he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
