We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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