Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
