i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
