I got chris browned last night
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
