Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
