p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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