Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
