this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
