Can Purell be used as lube?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
These tits shall not be calmed
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
