I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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