that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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