my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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