ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
