Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
