i jhust puked up my retainher.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
