I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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