we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
