Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I enjoy the company of your penis
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
