After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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