At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
